PAIN

pain makes u realise...how lucky u were before it.

it makes u restless...confused....specially when u dont know whats causing it.

u hate everbody else for being selfishly healthy.

pain scares u.u suddenly remember GOD n start praying.u will forever be ''good girl'', if only this pain will go away.

u always thought that if some situation like this meets u.......instead of saying...''oh god,why me?''......u will say....''oh god,try me''.....but this goddamn pain makes u forget everything.u think.......''oh god!...just this one time.....spare me.''

''why?why?why?''brain keeps asking.u dont find any logic.

u blame urself for hating ur body for so many defficiencies,.....many times before.now pain makes u realise.....u love ur body so much that possibility of some grave disease looming over ur head makes ur legs go all wobbly.

''oh god.....defficiencies or not.....i love ME.plz dont make me sick.''

u make him all the promises u can think of.....try ur best 2 bribe him any way possible...2 make that pain go away.but alaas........after a fresh round of pleading n crying......what remains is u n ur pain.

pain becomes centre of ur life.every plan .......n thought begins with the line....''when this pain will stop....i'll do this or that''.for every laziness,for every avoidable job....pain becomes ur excuse....ur alley.for every ''really wanna do thing''...pain remains ur foe.

its personal...private.howevermuch u try n explain the nature of it 2 anyone.....no one really understands.it lets only u 2 feel n experience its true n frank form.its pure form makes u need people.u need their love,help,reassurence.

people come n give u all of the above but they also bring stories n suggestions.they make u listen 2 them as a service tax.

for every type of pain,they always know someone somewhere suffering just like u.n now offcourse he/she is absolutely free of pain.however smart u think u r.........everyone always falls for it.u see a ray........ray of hope........bond of suffering with someone.

people never run out of stories.they r always more confident than any other doctor that u'll definitely get better.that way they will get 2 tell ur story 2 someone else.

for some time,u get infected by their enthusiasm n confidence.ur moral being gets elevated.u love that person so much in that moment...that u almost wanna kiss him/her.

thats the only advantage of their hospital visits.very soon...ur loyal companion ...pain grabs ur attention....returns with full vengence n says........''hey,..trying 2 forget me?preparing 2 get rid of me?let me make u remember n etch my presence on ur memory.''

confidence is lost...enthusiasm is gone....permanent bond remains only between u n ur pain.hv u ever hated loyalty so much?

its intensely throbbing or dull aching.it comes n goes or stays with u always.its acute or chronic.internal or external.......disturbance or disability.............whatever is the type......it never asks ur permission 2 enter ur life.

mostly it follows pattern but who knows......some times it just gets angry n behaves irratically.it aggrevates without giving u time 2 prepare urself n takes its revenge.well....what can u do?ur a mere soul,trapped in the same body for rest of ur life......ur body doesnt come with replacement warrenty.

when pain is absent....u dont miss it,even once.but when it comes visiting....u miss being painfree every damn second.

u like god coz u can hv a dialogue with him.but this damn pain never listens when u tell it 2 get out of ur life.after suffering for a long time......u stop a sec.....take a breath n think why?

u realise........coz u never really accepted it with open heart.never took it as part of life.pain is like a baby....crying for ur attention,ur acceptance.

nobody wants pain.its an orphan.it hs no family.no one 2 like it,miss it,welcome it.

to pain.....u seemed like a very loving,gentle person with open heart.....who meets different experiences of life with the same gratitude.u seemed 2 accept life as it comes.....no fights....simple hugging.u seemed 2 welcome problems,unwanted issues n try n work with them instead of turning ur back on them.u learnt from them n so thanked them n loved them for making u better.

how could pain resist falling in love with u,ever?

now,finally u get the answer......''why u?''

hv u ever hated being loved,so much?

with the realisation.......agony becomes companion.u look at pain as ur teacher.

once it becomes sure that u love it back........it teaches u many things.

how beautiful life is....how 2 make the best use of ur abilities during disability.......how society leaves u alone when their stories stop affecting u.......how ur children love u....able or disable!

u read stories of great people but only ur pain will make u realise the intensity of their greatness.due 2 ur friend,pain......u get some compulsary rest n free time n mindspace....which u were craving for so long....see....pain isnt all that bad,after all.

u start a dialouge with ur pain.....as u become very close family......ur sufferings increase......how it hurts ur pain.it cant see u crying.

then it does what we see only in movies........it sacrifises the most important relationship of its life.....U.....n leaves u.spares u the suffering.

world says.....ur cured.ru?

pain vanishes in search of someone as loving n as accepting as u......but promises u before leaving....... occasional visits, if parting becomes too much.

u used 2 cry before....due 2 pain.u still cry.....because u miss pain.

pain left but remained in ur memory forever......n left u its teaching,as parting gift.

so now painfree u...see the world with different spectacles.admire life,health.

n miss pain who was ur friend,family,teacher for some time.who remained with u through thick n thin.

now u almost hate ur life without pain.